As a coda to the Network World article about outdated technology terms, I’d like to register a formal complaint about e-mail sharing couples. My only comment is, “eeew!”
Of course, people who share an e-mail address probably won’t read this post, let alone figure out RSS sometime in the near future. So maybe I’m preaching to the choir.
But think of this as the beginning of a campaign. We have the technology. We have the e-mail addresses (this isn’t like states running out of telephone numbers and area codes). Remember, most residential Internet services come with a minimum of five e-mail addresses, and there’s always webmail. In the spirit of those five e-mail addresses, here are five passive aggressive ways to get your friends and family members to stop sharing their e-mail addresses with each other:
1) Get Personal
Suppose you have two friends – a couple perhaps – who have a single e-mail address that comes through as “John and Jane Doe.” You never know who’s sending the e-mail, and you never know who’s reading it. So I suggest we start getting personal. Perhaps in an inappropriate manner. Nothing untoward. Just perhaps direct and personal — the way we can be when we know who is getting the e-mail. As in, “John, What’s the deal with Jane?…”
2) Plan a Surprise
Start planning a surprise party for one of the people with the shared e-mail. Send e-mails to the other person with subjects alluding to the surprise and that the other person isn’t supposed to see the e-mail. Pretend that you don’t know that they share the e-mail. When you “find out,” cancel the surprise saying that it’s ruined now that the other person knows.
Be very indignant. And say, “It’s 2009 for crying out loud? Who the heck shares e-mail addresses these days? You’re in the stone age! How do you access the Internet? Smoke signals?”
3) Start Forwarding
If you haven’t unsubscribed or blocked those e-mails from the office funny guy or perhaps your overly-jocular uncle. You know, the person who came up with his sig file in 1995 and hasn’t changed it since. Anyway, it’s time to write an e-mail filter that automatically forwards these unwanted e-mails to your co-habitating e-mail friends and family members.
4) Subscribe
To be perfectly clear, I’m not suggesting that you spam your friends and family. But if someone happens to subscribe to the Cat Fancy e-mail newsletter, who’s to know otherwise? If you wish to be particularly pernicious, I highly recommend newsletters from organizations that cater to the business community. Unlike consumer-focused e-mail lists, these tend to be much more difficult to unsubscribe. Think: a newsletter for vacuum-cleaner parts repair professionals.
Also, try online publications. Look for publishers who require users to “update their profile” instead of unsubscribing directly.
And don’t forget anything that relies on Microsoft technology for login information is a great way to get stuck on a list. For example, Fox has a fantasy football list that uses some form of Microsoft login, and it’s virtually impossible to get off of the list once you’re subscribed.
5) Fight Back
Change your own e-mail address to one that you share with your spouse, partner or best friend. Reserve this e-mail solely for your friends with shared e-mail accounts.
When you set up this account, don’t use your own names. Use other people’s names. For example, if you are “Jane and John,” make the e-mail say that you’re “Toby and Luann” and then put your name in the signature file.
Check this e-mail infrequently. Respond with one word answers to e-mails, but do not sign your name. Only sign your name when you’re sending e-mails. And be very flaky about responding to invitations. Do anything associated with this e-mail address on a last-minute basis.
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There you have it. If these tips don’t work. Give up and get your own shared e-mail address. It’s time to bring the party line to the Internet.